What a girl wants is the easiest, least expensive gift a guy rarely thinks to give. It’s not from the jewelry store or the luxury car dealer. It doesn’t involve lingerie or even designer shoes.
And no, it’s not about chocolate, truffles or cheesecake. What do women want most and get least from their husbands: TIME. Sounds simple, right? But the truth is, our lives get so crowded with work, commuting, children and home maintenance, there are barely enough hours in the day to get everything done.
As the children get older they have activities that keep the parents in a state of perpetual taxi service. Before long, most of the conversations between the couple are about practical things, more like a daily schedule conference than communication between spouses.
It’s understandable that guys want some time for their interests to go fishing or watch football for hours. So he hands her the credit card and says, “Have fun shopping” hoping the mall stays open long enough for the last game to finish. Having done that, he thinks he’s met her needs. Sure, she’s enjoying the shopping but that’s no substitute for what she really wants from him, his attention.
A woman wants to be the focus of her man’s interest, the way she was when they first met. She knows it can’t be that way every day for hours on end now that they have other responsibilities.
But she wonders why it can’t be that way for at least a weekly date night or a long weekend together? She would like to be out in the car together and talk or hold hands without him fiddling with the radio buttons to catch the news.
Chances are he has absolutely no idea why the time he spends fixing the kitchen faucet or taking her car for an oil change isn’t seen as quality time. So she has to explain it. Explain, not whine, gripe or complain.
Just saying she wants time is too confusing for most men to grasp. Instead, give a specific use for that time like going to a movie or taking a walk in the park. Waiting for him to use his imagination to guess what she means by “spending time with me” is likely to miss her expectations. So be specific – he’ll appreciate knowing exactly what to do to please you.
One way to make the gift of time more enjoyable is to make it mutually exciting. Spending time together becomes something to look forward to, instead of something for the to-do list, when there’s a treat for both spouses as part of that time together.